Lessons from Pro IRONMAN Dads

The other day, I saw this entertaining exchange on Twitter between three professional athletes:




It got me thinking: is balancing training and racing with family responsibilities any easier if triathlon is your career? In order to answer this question, I talked with three relatively new fathers to better understand how they balance the challenges of parenting with the irregular hours and life on the road as a professional triathlete.

Juggling the day-to-day: You need a plan

If you’re a parent with a full-time job trying to squeeze training in, you might view a professional triathlete with a degree of envy. All day to train seems like a luxury, right? Most professional athletes would contend that the reality is much different; the parenting piece throws an extra wrench in the planning works.

Professional triathlete Tim Reed, and father to 3-year-old Oscar, acknowledges that flexibility is a huge benefit to the job description: "Just because I’m my own boss doesn’t mean that I’m completely flexible and have more free time… you still need 40 to 50 hours to do a decent job."





Jesse Thomas (above) and his wife, long distance runner Lauren Fleshman, are both professional athletes and managing their family schedule to take care of 2-year-old son Jude. "We have a pretty elaborate schedule that took me a couple of hours with Lauren, Excel, an abacus, and some light Javascript to complete," he says. Joking aside, Thomas admits that after reviewing their schedules, he and Fleshman realized they couldn't both be professional athletes without some help. "Seeing it all laid out in a schedule was the best way to ensure we were devoting enough time to sport, work, and most importantly, family," he says.

Luke McKenzie (main photo), father to 1-year-old Wynne, recognizes that he probably gets to spend more time with his daughter on a daily basis by not having "a strict 9 to 5 job," and that the time between training sessions is spent with Wynne. However, he and his partner, fellow professional athlete Beth Gerdes, often switch out to be with Wynne while the other trains, leading them into a game of tag in the childcare department.

Recovery time: A thing of the past

Parenting is 24/7 whether you work outside of the home, work from home or have a flexible schedule. When your kids are around, you’re a full-time parent. McKenzie says that one of the biggest adjustments for him as a new father has been the disappearance of downtime: "When you're gone for six hours on a bike ride and you come home and all you want to do is lay down on the couch there is a little person excited to see you and jump all over you." Of course, he wouldn’t change it for the world: "It's the best coming home to her little smiling face."




Reed, pictured above with wife Monica and their son, cuts to the chase when talking about recovery: "The constant fatigue is a killer. When you are in the midst of a heavy training block it's hard to be as enthusiastic and patient as I think I would normally be."

Distance makes the kids cry: Stay connected

Travel is a reality that no professional triathlete can escape. All the triathlete dads we spoke to recalled a time away from their family that was emotionally challenging for them as well as their child. While modern technology helps us all stay connected, it also pulls at the heartstrings. Reed says the toughest times come when he is traveling for weeks at a time and can only Skype with his son: "Oscar goes silent and his bottom lip trembles when I tell him that I'm still not home for another two weeks."




McKenzie, above, had a similar experience with his young daughter recently: "The one and only time that both Beth and I traveled away from her to race in the Philippines, Wynne stayed at home with her grandparents in Australia. We called her on Skype and she broke into tears. That was definitely hard to take!"

Thomas’ approach to travel has changed since becoming a dad, and he admits that he makes an extra effort to minimize time away. He finds, however, that most people understand if he is upfront with them: "I will ask race organizers and sponsors for a little leeway to fly in late and out of a race early—anything to squeeze an extra day back home."

Advice for fellow triathlon dads: Maintain perspective

As Reed puts it, whether triathlon is your job or your hobby, "it's trivial in the big picture."
Thomas concurs that while family is the number-one priority, parents shouldn’t feel guilty for having their own life and ambitions: "I am passionate about what I’m doing and that’s a good thing for him to see. I think kids look up to you as long as you are there to show them love and attention when the time is right."

McKenzie feels blessed that he and his partner, Gerdes, have integrated Wynne into their triathlon lifestyle, at least during her first year: "It's been challenging at times but all the little milestones we watch her achieve make the hard work of juggling our training and schedules worth it."


Jordan Blanco is a multiple-time IRONMAN finisher, Kona qualifier, and writer living in San Francisco.