Rules of Attraction: Feminine Women Covet Feminine Men

Cultural history tells us that masculine men covet feminine women. New research is out disputes this historical thinking.

Cultural history tells us that masculine men covet feminine women. This understanding of attraction dates back to Ancient Greek mythology, when the brave prince Paris took the beautiful Helena. It exists throughout culture, ubiquitous from fairy tale to film. But this supposedly universal principle seems inapplicable to English-speaking singles, with 76% of feminine women in a recent study by online dating service ELITESINGLES indicating a preference for a feminine man.

In the study into psychological gender and attraction, male and female ELITESINGLES members were first tested on their individual traits and then asked to rate the qualities they look for in a partner. But the cliché predicting sensitive, feminine women to desire assertive, protective men seems mistaken. In fact, 76% of women characterised by feminine traits were found to prefer men also characterised by feminine traits. Similarly, most men the study identified as psychologically masculine (59%) indicated a preference for a woman with a masculine character, and the same was true of 68% of women, suggesting gender identity plays a large part in attraction.

Dr. Wiebke Neberich, director of the study, commented that “relationships are often explained using two contradictory proverbs; either that ‘birds of a feather flock together’, or that opposites attract. For a long-term relationship the former is more realistic. A healthy relationship benefits from people being understanding and supportive: men and women with similar personalities typically match better since they have similar needs, exist in a comparable emotional world, and typically perceive things in a similar way, which all help to avoid conflict.

The context of the study
Gender comprises both biological and psychological characteristics. In this study, psychological gender was determined by the masculine and feminine characteristics in the “Bem Sex Role Inventory” (BSRI). According to the BSRI, stereotypical male traits are those like dominance, independence, or aggression, while female traits include sensitivity, warmth, and understanding.